It has been ten years since we accepted job offers in New Delhi and officially started on the path to our overseas life. Asa, started kindergarten that first year abroad and is now a high schooler. Liam began preschool in Delhi and now is in his middle year of middle school.
August 2009, New Delhi, India
If you had asked then how long I'd keep this blog going, I would not have had an answer. But now, I have decided that it should end when the boys are taller than me. And so with both of them hovering around six feet, this blog is retiring. I will continue to post on Instagram (now a renamed and private account @kbelkaro) so please continue to follow our journey (if you wish) on that platform.
It's impossible to articulate the impact of being immersed in three distinctly different international school communities; our host countries, colleagues, and students/classmates, making new friends each year while others move on, memories from each place we have traveled and kind strangers we met along the way have all shaped us in different and immeasurable ways.
We still believe with our whole hearts that this is us, living our best lives and that still, our kids remain happy to be on this adventure. In fact, when recently sat down to tell them that our (brief, and not very exciting) job search for a move in 2020 was over, they replied with "great! we want to stay here." So, cheers to year four in Angola!
And most importantly thank you, for your interest, encouragement, and curiosity over the years. You have kept me writing when I felt there was nothing to write about and mostly importantly, have sustained our valuable friendship through the years. Each summer, time with family and friends in the USA is too short but we are immensely grateful for everyone who has stuck with us across the miles.
On a recent phone call with a family member, I responded to a question, something like "so what else is going on over there?", with a story about traveling to Europe for a conference. To this, that family member replied, "your life is so weird."
True, there are many aspects of our overseas life that are "strange or extraordinary" and previously unimaginable before we set off for Delhi back in 2010. So while it may be is a weird life, we remain immensely grateful for the opportunity to live it on our own terms. And that family member who told me our life was weird just agreed to meet up with us for a long weekend in Paris this spring so, welcome to the club!
It's the eve of October break and we find ourselves reflecting on the start of our ninth year overseas, a quarter of the way through the second year at our third international school. It can be said with certainly that no matter how smooth or bumpy transitions have been to each new place, the second year is always easier than the first. This year, we arrived back in Luanda on August 1st, and reported to work the very next day. And that day feels like both minutes and forever ago.
Liam's first order of business when we got back and unpacked was building the Death Star.....
.....alongside Jonah putting together stools we brought back from IKEA. Lego for adults!
Returning to familiar surroundings and not needing to figure everything out anew, means that we have had more time and energy to explore a bit further afield. Among the adventures have been a fancy Sunday lunch at a country lodge, a night of camping in the forest for Jonah and two colleagues during which they came across a bull elephant, attending Rosh Hashanah dinner with the Israeli Ambassador leading the prayers, a boat ride to see humpback whales, stocking up on soy sauce and noodles at a Chinese market on the outskirts of the city, and a mechanically challenged deep sea fishing outing for Jonah (and, yes, that Marlin was HUGE!).
Another highlight was getting far out of town on a three-day weekend in mid-September. Our destination was Catanas Point:
Unfortunately, that driving time on the map does not account for the conditions of the roads which were, not good. Our traveling crew - 26 people in total - included these five kids, grades 6, 7, 8, 8, and 9, who talked and snacked incessantly. If you have an opinion on Harry Potter vs. Star Wars, these are your people:
We stopped for a short walk and lunch at some nice waterfalls along the way:
Nine and a half hours after our 6:00am departure, finally on approach to the camping spot:
Beachfront tent sites:
Happily out of the car, setting up tents, and running into the ocean:
So how did we end up at this particular place? A colleague who surfs every weekend met a fellow surfer, Sergio - a Brazilian dentist who has lived in Luanda for several years and runs a clinic in Luanda - out on the waves. Sergio developed this camp as a surfing destination and negotiated his lease on the land by providing dental care to the villages on either side of the property and he is now in the process of building a school for the local kids who do not have access to education.
The facilities at camp included cold showers and a couple of toilets and in true southern Africa style, the braai was in stacked to full capacity around dinnertime. The first night, our host grilled lobsters for all who wanted them and unlike most lobster bakes, multiple servings were available to those who wanted seconds, or thirds:
The next day, most of our group did a three-hour hike along a riverbed to an old dam, up and across the ridge, and back down to camp through the neighboring village. We had to hurry ourselves along to get back to camp before total darkness:
Lots and lots of fossils:
Starting our descent:
Village life at sunset:
That night, the boys asked to sleep under the stars and they were the last to wake up in the morning:
As we have realized over the years, group travel is really great fun and this was a fantastic trip with fantastic people. This year, we look forward to many more adventures around this part of the world. For starters, we have just put the finishing touches on winter break plans - just nine short weeks away. The bigger news is that both boys will go on their first international school trip this year; Liam is headed to Nairobi with the swim team in November where he will have his own cheering section of friends from our Delhi days. In the second semester, Asa and the entire 8th grade will be off to South Africa for a week of safari and cultural exchange. A big step for both kids - and their parents!
But before we get to all of that, it's time to get this break started. Having just gotten our visas renewed (and passports back) about ten days ago, the opportunity to travel outside of Angola was a happy surprise. When asked what they wanted to do with this week, Liam's reply was "go to a mall" and Asa said "stay on a farm". With the details coming together quickly - and both kid requests fitting into the itinerary - our bags are now packed and we head to the airport first thing in the morning.
Thanks for reading along and please follow on Instagram for updates from the road.
Note: Camping photo credits go to Jonah and fellow travelers.
1. a brief or temporary failure of concentration, memory, or judgement.
2. an interval or passage of time.
When we went to our previous school director, to let him know that we were making progress on our job search and it was looking likely that this gig in Angola would come through, he dismissively waved his hand across his desk and without making eye contact responded with: "Africa, huh? You've got a pretty good chance of getting boiled and eaten if you move there."
Boiled. And. Eaten.
This awkward interchange propelled us further from the place we were and made us feel more confident that Luanda, Angola was the place to be. Fast forward twenty months, and our first school year here has come to a close, three bags are packed and waiting by the door; we are ready for the journey to summer in New England.
Looking back, this lapse in time was most certainly not a lapse in judgement, as our former boss wanted us to believe. It has been a terrific year, exceeding all expectations. Both our school community and host country have been welcoming and inclusive; challenging at times yet supportive; fun and spirited yet always with opportunity for escape to calm and solitude when needed. A reminder that a place we had not heard of and had to search for on a map has become familiar, comfortable, enjoyable, and yet another place to call home.
Recently, I took some time lapse video while en route to the US Embassy to pick up my new passport. Luanda has some beautiful areas and others that are more reflective of the poverty that exists throughout Angola. These stretches of road are in the more upscale neighborhoods:
And as it is with international schools, the end of the year brings many - so many - goodbyes to friends and colleagues who are moving on to new places. In the midst of these farewells, we are grateful that it's not our turn to leave. After back to back transitions the past few years, we are staying put this time around, and happily so.
And before signing off for summer, it must be said that this has been a tremendous year of growth for both boys - new school, new country, new friends, new curriculum, new language. In the last week of school, Liam presented his eight weeks of research on Humor at the Primary Years Programme (PYP) Exhibition, the culminating fifth grade project before leaving elementary school.
An overview of all the Exhibition topics:
Liam recorded his stand-up routine for visitors to view and provide feedback:
And at the middle school final assembly, Asa received two certificates, one for honor roll and the other, an improvement award for math. This kid has really come into his own as a student over the course of this year and while awards are definiately not the most important thing, it was really nice to see his efforts recognized and the pride he felt for meeting his academic goals.
Upon reflecting on the challenges and overall experience this year, I now am able see that we terrifically underestimated how massive this transition would be for Asa and Liam; that in their tweens, it would be navigated on a completely different level than our previous moves. The moment that I grasped what we had asked of our kids - and how well they had managed - was when I stopped by Asa's English classroom on the last day to say "thank you", and was caught off-guard by the lump in my throat. For all the unknowns these kids took on back in August and their resilience and positive spirit and commitment to figuring things out - well, there is no award for that.
The reward (for all of us), is seven weeks in the USA. It is always so, so, so exciting to get on that plane bound for Boston.
What are we most excited about? Spending time with family, reconnecting with friends and our neighbors at the beach. We have about ten meals planned for the first two days, not including ice cream. The boys can't wait to get long overdue haircuts and pick out the sugariest cereals at the grocery store. The adults look forward to driving a car - wherever they want, whenever they want, plus the convenience of paying for things with credit card, and trying a few new microbrews.
In our first week back, we'll head to Washington DC. It has been a while since we visited (all together, anyways) and there are new things to see there and old haunts to revisit. This is what the boys looked like the last time we were there:
Other than that, you'll find us at the beach where our door is always open, visitors are always welcome, and the lobster? Boiled and eaten.
Year one in Angola, year eight on the international school circuit is a wrap!
Winter break has officially begun and at the risk of repeating myself, this has been the fastest semester of any school year - ever. Maybe this is because I'm not working, but Jonah feels the same way. So, again maybe it's because I'm not working, and our family pace has shifted in a way that has made time pass faster than the norm. But there were school years before there was a family. In the end, I'm not sure it matters one bit except to say that we are all very much looking forward to a three week holiday, a change of scenery, a travel adventure, a break from the routine.
Before we hop on that plane tomorrow (tomorrow!) - and because it has been a long time since I sat down to write - setting aside time to reflect upon and write about my "grown up gap year" thus far. Truth be told, this post has been put off and put off and put off again because who would want to read it, anyway? But with the clock ticking down the hours until we fly off, I will finish this work in progress knowing that someday (very soon), I'll wonder what I have to show for my hiatus from full-time employment. So I'll just leave this here, if for no other reason than to remind myself what I did with the unexpected opportunity to step away from work for a while.
First, a few things I have not been doing. Not that there is anything wrong with any of these activities, but assumptions are made about how an "expat wife" or (my favorite) "trailing spouse" spends their time.
Sleeping in/napping
Going out to lunch
Learning Portuguese
Sunbathing by the pool
Tennis lessons
For starters, to say that I am not employed would be misleading. I do report for duty as a (paid!) Learning Partner to two grade 5 students every school day, spending about 45 minutes with one student and an hour and a half with the other. I provide academic support within their regular classroom, whether they be working on drafting personal narratives, calculating area and perimeter, or gathering information on the various units of inquiry (peace and conflict, migration, and energy have been the big concepts so far). This hours of this job are pretty sweet - starting around 10:15am and ending at 12:45pm. Our school follows the Primary Years Program (PYP) of the International Baccalaureate (IB). Our previous two schools had only the Diploma Program for grade 11 and 12 students so PYP (and its grade 7-10 companion Middle Years Program - MYP) has been new to all of us this year. An added bonus of this gig is that Liam is in grade 5 (in the one class that I'm not) so I am exposed to some of what he is doing in school and then we can have conversations about it at the dinner table that leave Jonah and Asa totally out of the loop. Anyone interested to see what Liam's class is up to, can click here to access his teacher's blog.
Beyond the schedule of my Learning Partner commitment, I'm on my own.What has been perhaps the best aspect of this gap year is not having to do a thing for myself before everyone heads out the door - no shower, no checking work email, no getting frustrated with anyone because they're not moving fast enough or finding their shoes or filling their water bottles. I am totally relaxed. I wake up, pour whatever is left from the French press into a mug, say goodbye to Jonah, calmly make Liam's lunch (two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches), make sure the boys have something for breakfast, run through the checklist of what is needed for the day, chit chat, and off they go. Since we live on campus, they stroll out the door between 7:30-7:45am and after that, all is quiet until the boys return home - at either 3:00 or 4:00, depending on whether they have an after school activity.
A few or more hours each week are spent volunteering around campus. I contributed to the design of our school's new website (to be launched in January) and really enjoyed collaborating with the team from across the community. An ongoing endeavor has me spending time in the secondary school library updating the series collection. It's a simple task - updating the online catalog, labeling books, and making the bookshelves look pretty - but so satisfying. A third volunteer gig is reading with a class of kindergarten students. My task is simply to listen, to be the audience while they practice their skills. Oh my, they are so tiny and adorable and chatty.
Without work email bombarding my inbox, there is time to actually read books - a luxury usually reserved for vacation. Two incredible resources for finding the next great book - Goodreads and the public library where we spend each summer. If not familiar with Goodreads, it's social media for readers. And thanks to OverDrive, books are magically downloaded to our Kindles in Luanda from our library in small-town Massachusetts.
Listed below are books, podcasts, documentaries I've read/listened to/watched (in chronological order) from July to December. There is a theme connecting several of them (and other media recently consumed), chosen to further my understanding of current events by learning more about American history.
I've also had time to obsess on what to make for dinner. With very limited restaurant options, nearly every meal since we arrived in Luanda has been prepared and consumed in our apartment. One goal of mine was to cultivate and maintain a sourdough starter. The cultivation part seemed to work but using it to make dreamy bakery style boules was a total failure. I was able to follow a recipe down the path of bagel success. Of all the things I have ever created in the kitchen, these seemed to be the most impressive and most appreciated. And yes, cream cheese is available here (Philadelphia brand, in fact) to complete the perfect plate.
Other activities occupying my time include planning upcoming travels, a bit of family tree research on ancestry.com, and participating in sporty activities. Last weekend, the boys and I participated in our school's touch rugby tournament. This video captures some great moments (including one of Asa's tries at about the 3:35 mark) and the fun spirit of this community.
So with the gap year finally documented, the sun is setting on this experience. I have accepted a half-time position starting in January to be the Designated Safeguarding Lead for our school. This is a new role for both me and the school and a terrific opportunity to collaborate with stakeholders throughout the community - students, teachers, administrators, parents - as child protection and other safeguarding policies and protocols are developed, implemented, and shared out through workshops, training, and classroom lessons. This, in addition to continued work as Learning Partner, will keep me plenty busy through the end of the school year.
Before that reality sets in, we will be road-schooling around Southern Namibia for the next three weeks. Blog posts will happen in January with updates via Instagram while we are away.
For those curious about what the holiday season looks like in Luanda, a photo from the Shop Rite entrance. No shortage of Christmas decor here.
And today there was a DJ set up outside the store:
In case that wasn't enough, a few more seconds of Jonah dancing.......
Wishing our family and friends a wonderful holiday and all the very best in the New Year!
