Summer in The Sweet Spot

Oh, how I just love summer.

And this was our second sumer fully in The Sweet Spot. Two whole months of family, friends, food, and more food. We had two kids who could ride bikes, swim to the raft, and play neighborhood games until twilight while we sipped wine on the deck, read books at the beach, and had actual conversations. We feel supremely grateful for this time together - no camp, no babysitters, no schedule. So, so lucky.

A recurring question, as expected, was around the theme of a.) how long we plan to stay in India and b.) how long we will stay overseas/when are we moving back to the USA. I've tried to answer this before, and the answer hasn't changed much. Though we surely still talked about this topic. A lot. That said, as we get closer to the November 15th contract signing date, it is way easier to imagine signing on for another year than it is to picture job hunting, packing, moving, and then being new in a new country a year from now. Time will tell.

Another frequent query was regarding personal safety in India. Do we feel safe? That is easy to answer and only takes one word: yes. In fact, my anxiety was heightened more during our summer in America than it has ever been over here. The first time I felt it was in a darkened movie theater. My eyes searched for the exit signs and for suspicious characters who might have devious plans for the afternoon. The second time, I was pumping gas outside the grocery store wondering if there was a sniper on a nearby rooftop. And then there were the times I sent one of my boys into a public bathroom. Since they will no longer join me in the women's room, I have to hold my breath and wait. Feeling so relieved each time they emerged, I would barely remember to ask if they had washed their hands. And I think flushing is optional in these cases, yes?

But the conversation stopper for me was when people said "what a gift you are giving your children". In response, all I could do was swallow my guilt and change the subject. You see, this really is not a gift. A gift shows generosity, providing a loved one with something that they want, show interest in, put on their wish list. Our kids did not ask to move to India when they were 3 and 4 years old. This was a purely selfish move to live out our dream of expat life and world travel.

So far it has worked out okay for the four of us, but it will be years before we know how Asa and Liam feel about the whole deal. Perhaps they will resent never ice skating on a neighborhood pond, missing out on (American) football, spending more time in airports than in the family car, not knowing the difference between a dime and a nickel. And at what age can we really expect our children to appreciate anything we do? I'm thinking it will not be until they become parents themselves. So, we have a while.

But really, the hope is not that they appreciate this globe-trotting lifestyle or even think of it as a gift at all. Rather the best possible outcome is that they someday recognize the significance of living life on one's own terms and make the choice to do the same. Finding out what this means for each of them will certainly be impacted by the journey ahead, whatever that may be.